Question by kevn4o8: B&A: What do you think?
Some of the words are suppose to be in italics but it doesn’t work on here, sorry=[
this symbol * indicates italic words. Thanks.
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I had just walked a few blocks from Tony’s house when a cop pulled me over. Well, not technically “pulled me over”, but yeah, he stopped me. “Hey, kid, what’s your name?”
I just said the first name that came to my mind. “Lawrence.” *Lawrence* I thought, oh my God, *shoot* me.
He parked his car on the sidewalk, but he didn’t turn the motor off. “What’s the backpack for?”.
I’d completely forgotten I even had that with me. The bad thing is I was holding it like a grocery bag, which made me look suspicious, instead of *wearing* it like a backpack. “It’s for school and stuff, you know?”.
He took his stunner shades off, looked me right in the eye and said “Oh yea? What kind’a school ya got on a Saturday?” There was really nothing I could say to that. I thought there might be, but there wasn’t. I stared at him for like two seconds without a reply. He probably *knew* who I was, and was just trying to see if I’d give in. HelI no, I wasn’t gonna give in.
Right when I saw he started openning his door to get out, I kicked it right back-in on him as hard as I could with my very best front-kick and then shot off like my mother was dying- literally. He came after me for only a few yards and then ran back to his car- probably to call back up and tell’em he’d found Jerry Franco. I was so glad he ran back, ‘cus I tire out fast while running. I mean, I’m a lightning fast starter but I can’t keep the pace.
I figured I’d run ’till I saw somewhere I could hide and they wouldn’t expect it. After getting a few blocks away from the cop and turning a few corners, I got to this little shopping center. I caught my breath and looked around. There really weren’t that many options on where to take refuge, like I said, it was a *little* shopping center. But there wasn’t much time I could waste deciding, so it came down to either Target or this grocery store by the name of “Fresh Foods”?
Target had way too many cameras and people for my liking. Most likely, that was the first place they’d search too. The cops would probably go around asking if they’d seen me inside the store and sure enough some snitch would say “Yup, he went that way!”. No thanks, I thought, and I sprinted over to the grocery store.
Through the window, I was happy to see there weren’t all that many people inside and that there were only about three cashiers on shift. Even better, they were all facing the side opposite of the entrance-door, so they wouldn’t see me come in. I was planning on being all stealthy and stuff when openning the door, (which by the way looked a like a crappy door), but the freak’n thing turned out to be *automatic*, so when I got near it, “swoosh!” it swung open at full force and scared the hell out’a me! Stupid thing. I forgot not all automatic doors slide open. Luckily, no one cared enough about me entering, so much as to even glance over.
A split-second after I walked into the store, I heard the magical sound and saw flashing lights- cops. The same cop that’d *pulled me over*, had just driven into the plaza. The idiot was heading straight for Target. I couldn’t help but plant this big ‘ol freak’n smile across my face. Had I called that or what? Though I knew it wouldn’t be long before they came searching in here too, so I got moving.
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Would you keep reading if you could?
What did you think?
thanks
Best answer:
Answer by chebrew2000
Yeah I’d keep reading. Well written, good suspense, and kept my attention. Good job.
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